(This is a part of a story called” The Legend of Sandeep Malan”.I loved this post and I couldn’t stop laughing …. so I have posted it here for my readers..This was actually posted in Writers Lounge )
Sandeep rushed to his home. He paid 500 bucks to the auto, and without even waiting for the change, immediately rushed to his apartment. His apartment was in the most posh area of Juhu. It was that area of Mumbai which was home to many bollywood stars including Salman Khan, Akshay Kumar, Hrithik Roshan….and the item girl Rakhi Sawant. Sandeep had spent a fortune a few weeks ago in buying his 13th floor apartment just facing the building where Rakhi Sawant resided. He had spent all his savings, borrowed money from a goon, sold his ancestor’s house…much to the horror of his father, cut on his dates with Richa…just to get enough money for this apartment. Such was his craze for the item girl. There was a time when he used to spend maximum time with Richa. Richa, his love from his college days…the girl who won his heart when she sealed their love with a kiss. Sandeep was totally mad and passionate for her. He was always like that…passionate, moody, crazy!
He rushed to take the lift for his floor. It was 6.54 pm. And the lift got stuck. “Damn!! No!! God…you can’t do this to me! No!!”, he was growing impatient. The lift was back in order at 6.56 pm. But those two minutes seemed like ages to Sandeep. He was getting desperate. He reached his apartment at 6.57 pm and switched on the TV as soon as he entered. Straight to the ‘Hot Channel’ for the ‘Night out with Rakhi’ show. He waited for the 7 pm show and turned the volume to max and danced continuously for two hours at all the cheap Rakhi item numbers watching her live performance alongside. There was a time when the neighbours used to complain…not anymore. They had lost all hopes. Rakhi Sawant was his passion. He used to spend hours at his balcony waiting to get a glimpse of Rakhi who lived on exactly the same floor in the opposite building. Once he was even caught by the security when he was trying to reach Rakhi’s apartment by climbing up the sewage pipe. He then enjoyed a complete two day and one night stay at the prison. It was his friend Asbah who got him out and even convinced Richa that Sandeep was on a short business trip. Asbah was well aware of Sandeep’s latest craze and made every effort to hide this from Richa. But little did she know the extent to which that madness had evolved. She was as unaware as Sandeep himself!
It was 9.30 pm when he saw 5 missed calls from Richa on his phone. He thought of calling her back later. Just then he received a call from Supari Bhai, the local don from whom he had borrowed money for the apartment. He directed him to reach Marine Point in half an hour. Sandeep reached there to find Supari and his two men. “Abey shaney…tera time aa gaya lagta hai!! Vapas kar paise varna teri building se hi tujhe neeche tapka doonga!!”, he threatened. At that very moment Supari Bhai’s phone buzzed with the ringtone, “Arey ye to bataaa..sochta hai tu kyaaa….” This was the latest Rakhi Sawant item number and Sandeep’s favourite. He immediately started to dance on this song…step by step…exactly like Rakhi Sawant. He was singing and dancing madly. Marine Drive was a famous hangout spot and at that hour, there were many people hanging around. Sandeep was dancing like mad. Supari tried to stop him but could not. People were now staring at them. Supari and his men left the spot fearing police attention. Song by song…he kept on dancing and singing each item number of Rakhi Sawant.
It was then he spotted a couple in a compromising position making merry in a corner, away from preying eyes. The spot the couple had chosen was perfect as it was very difficult to spot them at this hour. Sandeep’s eyes lit up at the thought of mischief. He recalled a scene from yesteryears Rajni flick where the hero plays a moral police. Rakhi steps were replaced by Rajni’s poses in a matter of seconds and Sandeep started off in the direction were the couple were making merry. “Found a safe place you rascala’s….Rajni anna around and all this shit happening…Chumma Perai Kettavudane adhiruthilla (Doesn’t my name send a shiver down your spine?)…. Ponnum, pennum un pinnadi varanum…athu pinnadi nee pogakoodadhu..( Money and girls should always follow you, never go behind them)…Does not this chappy know that….Rascala…making merry in Rajni’s presence….Shoooo…Shooo…Go away….Go away…..Go away I say….Naan Oru Thadava Sonna ….Nooru Thadava Sonna Mathiri..!(I say it once, it’s as good as saying it a hundred times)”, Sandeep was shouting at the couple in true Rajni ishtyle. The couple were so engrossed in making merry that they had turned a deaf ear to the outside world. This enraged Sandeep. He started walking towards the couple after flicking a cigarette in the air which landed perfectly between his lips. He was walking in Rajni style. He was barely a metre away from the couple on romp when he stopped abruptly and dished out more Rajni dialogues. “Adhe kozhandhai kitta Sandeep Malannu sonna, innoru kaiyale avanga amma vaayayum moodum!” (Well, if you say the name ‘Sandeep Malan’ to that particular unborn child, it will close its mother’s mouth with the other hand!)…… Late ta vandalu Latest ta varuven(I come late but I come Latest)….put your clothes on you Rascala’s….and face Rajni….and get lost from here…..Yenna Rascalaaaa….Mind It!!!”, screamed Sandeep. A crowd had started gathering at the spot where Sandeep was belting dialogue after dialogue. More and more people were joining in to check out what the commotion was all about. Everyone who saw what was happening, was enraged at the couple.
The couple was shocked at this sudden intrusion and was clueless what was happening. The girl picked up her duppatta and fled the scene. Sandeep caught a glimpse of her when she ran past him. He had seen her somewhere. The face he saw bore a striking resemblance to Sarah Alexander, who was his colleague at office. Yes, it had to be her. That scar on her right cheek had confirmed his doubts. The guy was still in a state of shock. He was taken aback to see all the crowd that had gathered. Sandeep was still fuming, “Yennaaa Rascalaa…making merry at a secluded spot and marring the image of this great city…that too when Rajni’s disciples are around….Mind it!! You people…teach him a lesson…no one messes around in Rajni’s raj…..Mind it!!” The enraged mob attacked the guy and started beating him up. With every cry, Sandeep was laughing more hysterically. After beating him up for 5 minutes, Sandeep intruded and asked the crowd to stop. “Rajni’s biggest strength is his ability to forgive and forget…Mind it!! One last slap in Rajni ishtyle and then you are free”, said Sandeep. He caught hold of the guy’s collars and pulled him towards him. The guy was bleeding profusely. He was crying loudly. “Look at me you rascala”, commanded Sandeep. The guy looked in his direction. Sandeep got the shock of his life. It was D’Silva!! His boss D’Silva!!