Anger Management: Life-changing lessons
Anger is an important key element in life. Likewise, Anger can cause troubles and problems in one’s life. It leads to relationship problems, the enmity between best friends, hatred, etc. Thus it is essential to control our anger. We should know how and when to exhibit our anger. There are various reasons which may imbue this anger within people. Researchers are working hard to find out the reasons.
People may not know or maybe they may not be in their senses when they get angry. For instance, when I get angry it may directly affect my personality and it will be reflected in my behavior as well. Thus a few groups of people also know me as ‘the angry man’.This should be reduced and hence we should have effective anger management and control over it. Here I come with the anger management lessons. I will give you 10 lessons. Please take care and read it carefully.
Lesson #1 – Focus on the words than the tone
When you hear someone saying something against you, then it is advisable to focus on the reason of the words rather than concentrating on the tone or language being used. By doing this half of your anger will be controlled and you will come to know the actual reason. For eg I have a friend of mine who used to stay far away from my place. The other day I happened to call her and I could realize some changes in the tone in which she was talking. I asked her to tell me the reason, but she refused.
I inferred that she was rude after this. She actually told me that she would tell me later when we meet online, but I insisted on her to say. If she didn’t want to tell me the reason then she wouldn’t have told me that she would tell me later. With her tone which deviated from her actual tone,I should have realized that something was wrong, but I didn’t and for some time I even forgot that she was my best friend. Thus one should focus on the reason rather than concentrating on the tone or language being used.
Lesson #2 – Have a glass of water
On a serious note whenever one gets angry one should have a glass of water. Water has this unique ability to reduce or minimize anger. It can calm you down. Also breathing in and out exercises would work. Some people count numbers from 1 to 10. A smile on the face is essential. You may have heard of Laughter clubs, groups, etc. This may sound funny, but trust me it works.
Lesson #3 – Don’t give in to your impulses
This is very important. Don’t give in to your impulses. Think twice before you speak. At times there may be words that would wound others feeling. The impact would be so high that this wound may take time to heal and may on worst-case scenario may end up putting knots in our relationship.
Sometimes we may say something when we are angry not realizing the impact it puts on the other person. Later on, we may realize our mistake and may even try to apologize, but it’s not always easy to forgive. So it is better we should avoid taking risks and be careful whenever we are angry.No one here is perfect and we understand. We get angry and make mistakes, but we should be careful.
Lesson #4 – Displacement of Anger is wrong
The displacement of Anger is wrong. We know that anger is something beyond our control but why should someone else pay for someone else’s mistake. The targets are people who are close to us. We may not wish to offend them by any chance. As we can only take them for granted and hurt them for somebody who holds no rights on our lives often.
Lesson #5 – Listen Carefully and Develop patience
Listen Carefully and Develop patience. Only then you will develop the time to interpret your impulses before making them your reactions. And when you do that you will respond and not react. And when you respond, you are right because it involves thinking.
Lesson #6 – Anger leads to unhealthy changes in our bodies.
Anger leads to unhealthy changes in our bodies. It is not good for our physical and mental health. Sometimes it may invite various diseases such as high blood pressure or depression which are the root causes for various diseases related to the digestive, circulatory and nervous system.
Lesson #7 – Take it off in a composed way
When we are angry, it is better to take it off in a composed way rather than taking it in. When we take it in, it leads to frustration and the anger may come out in front of the wrong person at the wrong time.
Lesson #8 – Anger is not the solution, it’s just a vent out
Anger is not the solution, its just a vent out. For instance, if you are happy for whatever reason and even if someone offends you by say pushing you in a train or something, you will excuse it with a smile saying its OK. But on the other hand, if you get pissed then anything or anybody will get onto your nerves and you won’t be solving things just uttering bitterness and straining relationships.
Lesson #9 – Try to empathize
Try to empathize. It is not easy to keep everything in your mind when you are losing it, but if possible the person from which the reaction that is offending you is coming. And if you know that it is not the person’s usual behaviors try and give him some grace and see if you can be of some help. If you know that the person is like that only then why waste your energy. Your shouting will certainly not help or improve him. It will cause unpleasantness. Few say that Fire can’t extinguish fire..only water can. If we stretch a thread from two ends it will break, so it’s better to let go sometimes.
Lesson #10 – Learn to forgive
Last but not least Learn to forgive and try and stay happy. This can change your life.
I do believe that these lessons would have helped you in minimizing your anger.